Here it is… MY story, my WHY, my MOTIVATION… hang with me here, once I got rolling I couldn’t stop…
To those that know me, it’s no surprise to point out the obvious – I’ve struggled with my weight and self-image my entire life. There are days now, at 28 years old, that I still feel the hopelessness and defeat I instantly became aware of in the 6th grade when, in line for lunch one day while having a discussion about how we finally talked our Moms into letting us shave our legs, a friend said in all honesty that she couldn’t believe I could shave my own legs… after all, she “didn’t know that FAT GIRLS could shave their own legs!”
When I finally realized as a young adult the impact my weight had on my health and precious LIFE, I knew it was time to make a change… to find a way to better equip myself to handle the stressors of life without binge eating all my emotions and to be able to cope with the utter hopelessness, defeat, and self-loathing that still resonated in my mind since that day in the elementary school cafeteria. I started going to the gym, joining an exercise group in college, and completely changed my eating habits by declaring myself VEGAN for about a year and a half. I lost about 20 pounds but went off to grad school and quickly found it all creeping right back with that whole new adventure in educational stress!
I BATTLED with myself throughout my whole first semester at Westminster Choir College – not just physically with my weight, but also with illness, and largely with an emotional and spiritual battle as well. After some nail-biting stress at the end of that first semester with whether or not I was going to go back and finish my graduate degree, I saw all that weight I worked so hard to lose and the habits I tried so very hard to change creeping back into my every day. The Lord, in His own humorous way (that’s a story for another time!), led me to return to finish my degree and mid-second semester I noticed that my clothes weren’t fitting, I was miserable with myself, and knew yet again that SOMETHING HAD TO GIVE.
I’d seen an advertisement on TV for Chalean Extreme and I was immediately drawn to Chalene Johnson’s bubbly and bright personality. [I wonder why? :)] I ordered it even though I was struggling to afford it, and I dove right in… I started counting every endless calorie that went in my mouth and making it a priority to exercise according to the schedule I received with the program. I FELT amazing!
Slowly but surely the weight came off and I was taking care of myself the way I thought I needed to. I even started “fake jogging” (a term I coined for my hilarious version of a walk/run LOL!) and was in love with how “healthy” I felt. Even though I was in the best shape of my life by the time I finished grad school and returned home from gallivanting across Europe for Young Artist Programs that summer, I was OBSESSIVELY making my “health” what was filling my desires vs. Jesus. It got to the point that after I met my now husband, all I was seemingly obsessed with was the number on the scale and all of the lowest calorie (read: cardboard processed junk) foods I could fill my belly up with so I wouldn’t crave the “undesirable.” At this point I’d lost nearly 80 POUNDS and felt like I could conquer the world!
Fast forward 3 years and throw some “REAL LIFE” in the mix…
•a wonderful marriage that comes with the enemy constantly trying to snag a foothold
•a crazy demanding yet exciting full-time teaching position
•an amazing new baby boy who’s given us a run for our money being quite the fussy little guy
•a major struggle to breastfeed
…and trying to BALANCE it all amidst the new momma exhaustion and feelings I’m coping with still post-partum has been incredibly overwhelming. As a result, I’ve fallen back into the habit of using food as my crutch… my go to “feel good” remedy.
In the midst of all of this LIFE stuff, I feel like I have nothing that is simply mine to have and to hold anymore… I don’t have a place or a means to SING – which has always been MY thing… we are still trying to find a church to make our HOME… and I have regained back about 50 of those 80 pounds I’d previously lost as a result of bad habits and pregnancy gain!
I have thought before about coaching when I was “fit” and “healthy” and “happy” post grad school, but it never seemed right until now in the midst of all the CRAZY that is my now 28 year old exhausting and overweight life. Why now???? Why when I’m clearly NOT at my goal weight or body would I jump into this crazy coaching adventure???
As I prayed over this opportunity, I was led to follow the soft promptings of the Holy Spirit, to step out in blind faith and follow Him on this Beachbody adventure as a Coach now… even though my heart is aching with the question “what on earth do I have to OFFER?”
I desire to use this opportunity as a Coach to:
•REACH others who feel that hopelessness and defeat lurking around sometimes every corner…
•help each other as we learn to EMBRACE the beauty that radiates from each of us just as we are…
•to invite you to join ME as I learn how to choose JOY, crave Jesus, and chase ADVENTURE in this sometimes dull and monotonous life…
🌻 I want to be like the sunflower, turning to follow the SON… and in doing so bringing glory to His name by allowing my life to be a CELEBRATION of what He continues to do through me.
It’s not about a workout.
It’s not about a shake.
It’s not about the scale.
It’s all about Him.